Sixteen

"Just when I think I need someone,
They wrap their arms around my old bones 
And I start breaking apart
I walk away from anyone that cares about me
But I swear my skin's not as rough as I make it out to be
The saddest part is I've been distant since I was sixteen
It keeps me up in bed
I'm stuck here with all the choices I've made  
And the chances I was too afraid to take." -Real Friends

(I used the daylight white balance setting when I took this photo of my three voodoo dolls that I have had ever since I was a kid. The above quote is just one of the many beautiful lyrics from one of my favorite bands; Real Friends. The lyrics above come from their song Sixteen which is about being lonely and wanting someone to hold and go through the night with but when life gives you that someone you get mixed feelings of not being good enough, and so it drives that someone away. When I took this photo the first thing I thought of was this song. I chose to upload this photo because it really coincides with the song and it reminds me of myself because I'm very distant from everyone which makes me come off as a mean individual when in reality I'm not like that at all. It's very hard when you constantly feel like you're never good enough for anyone or anything. It's kept me from so many great opportunities and making so many new friends but I was just too scared of failure or rejection; and it's only left me with a mountain of regrets.)

Misunderstandings

I admire every aspect of a cat. This little creature is not only adorable, but I also find them to be very uplifting. Their care free attitude and their constant slumbering always keeps me in a relaxed state of mind. I find these furry little felines to be very therapeutic in my part; but people misunderstand cats; saying that cats are not fun or outgoing and are most of the time very spiteful. In my opinion, I think that it's very sad that this is the overall opinion of cats. It doesn't seem fair that most people see cats as only being hateful. Despite their short temper, there is such a gentle nature to cats. Such curious creatures, it's an entirely different world if you take the time to admire them. (This is a photo of my cat Ruhpert. I took this photo by a window so I could have natural light coming down on him. I have had this cat for exactly 8 years and in those 8 years he has taught me something very important; staying positive and ignoring any negative vibes that may come your way. People misunderstand cats as being very hateful; but my cat is the complete opposite of that. He is loving, gentle, and the happiest cat you could ever know of. Despite all the misunderstandings of cats, he stays positive. He teaches me that people may misunderstand you for being something you're not; ignore them. Just keep your head up and keep doing you. Nobody will ever change you into something you're not. Just stay true to who you are. Think positive. Think like a cat.

Mood:

My head spins. It twists and turns uncontrollably and it almost never stops. It hurts both mentally and physically. It only spins when i'm feeling certain emotions; anger, sadness, confusion, stress. These emotions tend to collide with each other and start a war in my mind leaving me with a powerful headache and a sorrowful feeling in my stomach. It's almost as if these emotions are unstoppable; living inside my head and always getting tangled up in each other. It's no wonder I am tired; I stay up for hours trying to sort my thoughts out but instead I get lost in  them. I only wonder if anybody else get's lost in their own thoughts and emotions. (This is a photo of my boyfriend. I took this photo using a slow shutter speed and a tripod to keep the background still but the subject blurry. I chose this photo to post on my blog because I feel it is a perfect representation of how I have been feeling for the past 2 weeks. Stressed, confused, anxious, and many other feeling bombarding my thoughts leaving me with a spinning merry go round of a head. It's been very hard trying to pull myself together lately and with all the weight I was carrying on my shoulders it felt as though I would never be able to. But I feel as though I am getting better. I feel as though I am gaining control of my life again and getting my head sorted out. I just needed a little time and a little hard work in order to put myself back together.)

A new home

This is a wooded area that is fairly close to where I live. To others it may just seem like an ordinary cluster of trees, but every time I visit here I somehow manage to find a sense of comfort. Whether it be I need to find inspiration for my next photography project, a place to think, or even just a place to simply venture off in i'll always have this wooded area just a block away from me. When I need to escape the sadness that may occur in my own home, I treat this place as my new home and all the sadness disappears. It's a big maze of trees that I often find myself getting completely lost in but I never worry because I know that as long as I am away from whatever is troubling me I know I will be okay. I love this place more than anything. To me, I see this place more than just the woods; I see it as a second home. I chose these photos to post on my blog because every time I look at them I get a very warm and happy sense of feeling which is perfect because I want those who see this post to understand the joy that this place brings me. Which brings me to the main topic of this post; find your place, whether it be at a party, a beach, or a forest. Find a place that makes you feel comfortable and happy. It's important to find your niche where you feel the most safe.